Every day I am learning new things and God is continually showing me and speaking to me on areas that I need to grow and change in.
As wives we have duties and responsibilities, just as the husbands have responsibilities. We are to support our husbands, build them up, make them look good among the community, pray for them daily, and love them.
I have learned some things concerning this area that I would like to share with you. I have learned; that I must go to God first in all things, it is not all about me, that I need to pray for my husband on a daily basis, submit to my husband in every thing, react in love, build him up through edification and support, and allow him to be the man and husband that God created him to be.
If I love God more than my husband, then I will love my husband more through God’s love and power that works through me. (There is a song that I believe speaks on this; The Marriage Prayer by John Waller on his As for Me & My House CD.)
I am to submit to my husband in all things, as long as those things follow the line of being obedient to God. Instead of becoming defensive, it is better if I react in love…no pointing fingers, throwing past events back in each other’s face, and not putting attention to my own “woe is me” attitude. By concentrating on how my husband is feeling, what kind of a day he has had, what his thoughts may be…it will take focus off from my own self-pitying thoughts.
A lot of things in this world are based on a “me first” and “what about me” attitude. With God, it is exactly the opposite. It is about us thinking about others more than ourselves, putting the other person before us and putting God before every thing and every body. It is about making selfless daily acts throughout our travels. By doing this in my own marriage it will continue to raise up my husband, which will also raise me up as well.
It is profitable for us both if I am speaking words of edification and positiveness upon him, rather than tearing him down, find something good and positive to say whenever I speak. From out of our mouths comes both curses and blessings…death and life. We choose which one we use every time we allow words to pass through our lips. If we speak negative on something we are only destroying it, if we speak positive on something we are bringing hope and blessings to life.
If I become upset or see a problem with my husband…it is better that I do not let that feeling manifest and become something even more negative, but rather I should go to God and pray about the situation and leave it in His hands. God can do a greater work in another person than I can. As well as coming to God in prayer about things that may have upset me, it is also good for both me and my husband if I pray about him daily for his strength against the enemy, his walk with God, safety, blessings, wisdom, and other things that may come upon him.
Another thing that is good is for me to not speak over my husband in public, rather do whatever I need to do to build him up while in the public eye. Allow him to act in his role of head of the household.
The following are some scripture verses I have found on the role of being a Christian woman and a wife:
“Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” –Ephesians 5:22 [KJV]
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” -Ephesians 5:24 [KJV]
“…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” -Ephesians 5:33 [KJV]
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” -Colossians 3:18 [KJV]
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;” –1 Peter 3:1 [KJV]
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.” –1 Corinthians 7: 2-6 [KJV]
“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” -1 Corinthians 14:34-35 [KJV]
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” –1 Timothy 2:9-12 [KJV]